Amy’s Gripping Commentary

Got this from Samsara

1. My uncle once: had a new heart transplanted
2. Never in my life: have I been able to dive
3. When I was five: I liked to read and draw
4. High school was: full of really smart kids
5. I will never forget: getting fired
6. Once I met: my college dean’s basement pinball machine collection
7. There’s this girl I know: who was on Sesame Street
8. Once, at a bar: I kissed my boss
9. By noon, I’m usually: finally awake enough to be productive
10. Last night: we watched the U.S. women’s eight win a gold medal while we ate sushi
11. If only I had: been emotionally available about ten years earlier
12. Next time I go to church: it’ll probably be because someone is dead
13. What worries me most: is people being mean to each other and the planet
14. When I turn my head left I see: David playing the Olympic fanfare on the piano
15. When I turn my head to the right I see: Casper sacked out
16. You know I’m lying when: I say I’ll call you to go out and do something (most people anyway… but I try really hard not to lie)
17. What I miss most about the Eighties is: how the biggest problem in school was if the boys were allowed to wear an earring
18. If I were a character in Shakespeare I’d be: Emma Thompson! Oh, that was just a movie
19. By this time next year: my rabbits will be bonded
20. A better name for me would be: Arrogant elitist liberal? At least that’s what I heard today
21. I have a hard time understanding: the desire for shoes and purses. And makeup.
22. If I ever go back to school, I’ll: never get rid of my school loans
23. You know I like you if: I tell someone else about you
24. If I ever won an award, the first person I would thank would be: Casper
25. Take my advice, never: need to replace all your teeth
26. My ideal breakfast is: skipping it and sleeping in
27. A song I love but do not have is: I already stole them all from Napster
28. If you visit my hometown, I suggest you: raft down the river
29. Why won’t people: stop pitching cigarette butts out the window
30. If you spend a night at my house: you’d better like dog hair
31. I’d stop my wedding for: a stray dog
32. The world could do without: the fashion industry guns
33. I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: be a telemarketer
34. My favourite blonde(s) is/are: I don’t like blonde hair
35. Paper clips are more useful than: shoehorns
36. If I do anything well it’s: remember a lot of stupid little things like gas prices and the content of a study someone wrote at work eight months ago and how many calories a Taco Bell bean burrito has
37. I can’t help but: point out mistakes in grammar and spelling
38. I usually cry: for some stupid hormonal reason
39. My advice to my child/nephew/niece: help those without a voice
40. And by the way: I heard about two hoarding cases today. Fort Wayne: 53 animals, from dogs to lizards. Tennessee: 119 minilops.